


God Only Knows What I'd Be Without You (two)

by Mother_Mercury



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Happy Ending, Hot Space Era, John is the voice of reason, Light Angst, M/M, Mpreg, New Parents, New Year's Resolutions, Pregnant Roger Taylor (Queen), Roger's a nervous wreck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28290219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_Mercury/pseuds/Mother_Mercury
Summary: Due to the stress of an album and unplanned pregnancy, Roger now has only a week until New Years (and his due date) to complete his New years Resolution list. Even though the list is nearly impossible to accomplish, John does everything he can do make sure Roger finishes everything.
Relationships: John Deacon/Roger Taylor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 21
Collections: The Clog Factory Happy Holidays Fic Exchange





	God Only Knows What I'd Be Without You (two)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emma_and_orlando](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma_and_orlando/gifts).



> Hello! This fic is for the very lovely and talented @emma_and_orlando !
> 
> This is my first time writing a John x Roger piece and I am very excited about it.
> 
> I'm on tumblr @ mother-mercury44
> 
> Hope everyone is having a very kind and safe holiday season. Happy (early) New Year! :)
> 
> Also, God Only Knows but the Beach Boys is a Christmas song and I'm ready to argue.

_December 25th, 1981_

Roger, with John’s help, sat down in the passenger seat with a grunt.

Everyday tasks have started getting increasingly difficult around 20 weeks and now they seem nearly impossible at 39 weeks. He doesn’t remember the last time he put his own shoes on or even seen his feet for that matter. He and John convinced themselves the baby would come early due to the stress from recording the album. Those beliefs were put to rest two weeks ago when his Doctor told him he was showing no signs of heading towards labor just yet. Leaving the blond man even more irritated.  
  
“All good, Rog?” John asked as he helped him with the seat belt.

“Just peachy,” Roger said, dismissing John’s hand. “Sorry you couldn’t drink tonight. I just don’t think I could reach the pedal with how far back my seat has to go to fit this belly.” 

John’s hand fell to Roger’s belly. “I don’t think I’ve had a drink in the last few weeks. Too scared you’ll go into labor and I can’t drive you to the hospital.”

“A true gentleman,” Roger said sarcastically.

The younger man rubbed his belly a few more seconds before shutting the door and getting into the drivers seat. 

Roger knows he should probably tone it down with the sass and that John doesn’t deserve to be his punching bag. But John did get him pregnant. Their friendship blossoming into a relationship was barely planned, let alone a baby. It was only this time last year the two decided to go steady. Not that they weren’t doing so before that. Only to find out three months later that he was pregnant. So if Roger can deal with gaining weight, heartburn, nausea, and many other nasty symptoms, John can deal with Roger’s attitude. 

“I honestly thought we wouldn’t be at their house for the holidays,” Roger said breaking their comfortable silence. “I thought the baby would be here and it’d be just the three of us before we had to head back to Munich. Cos honestly, I didn’t think you and Brian would survive Christmas together without someone leaving in a body bag.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been stressing you out with this album,” John apologized for the 100th time. “I should be creating a stress free environment for you, not causing one.”

“I found out I was pregnant a month before we started recording this album,” Roger said. “Sorta impossible to have a stress free environment when you add those two together.”

“I told you we should have postponed the -”

“Is recording an album with a newborn any easier? Or would we have postponed until the baby is older? Let’s have this baby and get on with the album,” Roger snapped. Mentally slapping himself when he saw the hurt look on John’s face. “I’m just saying that, things happen and life goes on. Except now, life is going on with a baby.”  
  
“Our baby,” John cooed to himself.

Roger doesn’t know how John does it. 

He doesn’t understand how John is not completely terrified and overwhelmed with the situation at hand. John has poured himself into this album and Roger’s pregnancy, balancing them both with practiced ease. The younger man has been nothing but calm, cool, and collected. Except for over half the time when John is arguing with Brian in the studio. But other than that, John has been reading every baby book, painting he nursery, building all the furniture, and doing just about everything besides carrying the baby. Roger can’t think too long about the fact that he about to be responsible for another life for too long without feeling like the world is collapsing. He loves John, he truly does. And he’s loved this baby since the moment he peed on a stick in a pub bathroom.

That doesn’t mean he isn’t absolutely terrified. Terrified the stress of being new parents could cause the downfall of his relationship with John. Terrified he won’t be a good parent. Terrified they’ll never finish this god forsaken album and he’ll be stuck in this Hot Space hell for the rest of his life. The very few moments he isn’t completely terrified, Roger is overwhelmed with love for John and their baby that everything feels like it’s going to be okay.

Even if it’s just for a moment.

“Yeah,” Roger smiled to himself, placing his hand where his baby is kicking. “Our baby.”

-

Roger sat on the floor in nursery, going through all the Christmas gifts for the baby and trying to figure out which outfits were coming with them to Munich. Not that it matters, Freddie will most likely buy the baby a whole new wardrobe once they’re out there. The blond placed a pair of yellow pajamas on his belly, in complete awe with how tiny it is. He wonders how something so tiny has caused his belly to swell this much. 

“I’m very happy you’re growing and already a healthy baby, but if I can’t fit into my trousers on this tour, you are going to have a very upset dad,” Roger joked, poking at his belly. “If there even is a tour. Your daddy might kill your uncle or the other way around. Who knows?”

“Hey! Don’t make me out to be a monster,” John joked from the doorway. 

Roger let out a yelp. “Fuck! Warn a lad will you.

John made his way down to floor next to Roger, placing a kiss to his lips and then his belly. “I was looking for you. Should’ve known you were in here. You’re always in here.”

“My happy place,” Roger said simply.

The two sorted through baby clothes, not getting very far since they stopped to awe over the teeny tiny outfits. Something about John’s voice going high and squeaky describing the duck pattern outfit makes Roger weak in the knees. This time last year, things were quite different from how they are now. The two called a cab and ducked out of Freddie and Brian’s Christmas early. They laid drunk on Roger’s living room floor confessing their feelings for each other. Letting each other know they wanted more from each other and from life. Which prompted Roger to make a resolution list for the new year. He remembers giving a drunk speech how it’ll help them grow as a couple. He scribbled his goals for the new year in his song writing journal and two made love on the shag carpet.

It was something really special that blossomed into something incredible. Roger remembers the first he thing he added to the list was “more early morning sex”. They only did it one time before Roger fell pregnant and the blond forgot about the-

“John,” Roger shouted, a hand hitting John across the chest. 

“Oh my,” John shouted back before standing up and helping Roger to his feet. “Bloody hell! Are you in labor? Your water broke? Let’s go nice and slow, remember your breathing.”

“What? No! I’m not in labor,” Roger laughed. “But when I am, please be calmer than this.”

John’s face seemed to age over ten years in the last few seconds. Roger cupped the younger mans face and kissed the worried look off of it. The blonds heart rate picked up, causing the baby to kick him in the ribs. Probably on purpose, the baby has a nasty habit of kicking him in the ribs or bladder when Roger gets excited or scared these last few months. He definitely hasn’t peed himself yet, at least that’s the lie he made John swear to tell.

John cupped his face and kissed his lips one last time. “Then what the hell is going on?”

“Where’s my New Years resolution list?”

“Still in the study. What-”

Roger didn’t let John finish, he waddled out of the room as fast as he could. He can’t believe he forgot about his list. Scratch that, he could. It’s been a busy year. Down in the study, Roger found his notebook. Untouched over the last nine months. Only accomplishing six of the twelve items.

_Well, shit._

“I only have six days to finish,” Roger said scanning the list with one hand on his belly. “Six days to complete six things.”

John padded over and scanned over the list with Roger. “You already did six, I think that’s good enough,” John said smiling. “The first resolution was to quit smoking and you did.”

“Cos of the pregnancy.”

“Cut back on drinking while not touring,” John said sheepishly.

“Cos of the pregnancy.”

John hummed to himself. “Read more and take care of your health.”

“Baby books and prenatal vitamins,” Roger said playfully shoving him. “I’ll save you the time with the last completed one, build something meant like rebuild the engine of a car. Not a crib.”

Roger knew he was being a bit dramatic. These do count, even if he was unaware he finished those items. But that doesn’t mean Roger isn’t determined to finish this list before the new year. Before their baby comes and his life is changed by a couple pushes and the sound of a baby crying.

“Rog,” John said kissing the top of his head. “Let’s finish it. Sort of like a pre baby bucket list now.”

“Really,” Roger grinned from ear to ear. “I love you, Deaks.”

“Of course,” John cooed. “I love you, Rog. Let’s start with this one tomorrow.”

\- 

“Let me help, Rog,” John said from his place on the counter. 

“My list,” Roger said pointing a spoon at John. “This is an easy one, perfect one recipe. Miso Ramen sounds easy enough and I don’t know why I’ve never made it myself.”

“Okay but the noddles-”

“No help from the audience,” Roger grinned before going back to the stove.

Roger knows why he’s never made it, he doesn’t cook. Not before he and John got together and most definitely not with John. Before falling pregnant, Roger already put on a bit of healthy weight from John’s cooking. He loves watching John cook and loves doing as much as he can to help. He doesn’t offer much help in the kitchen besides taste testing and drinking wine. So when Roger made his New Years resolution list, he knew “learning to cook” was a bit of a stretch. Settling on perfecting one recipe seemed more realistic.

Quickly glancing at the recipe and back at the food, he hummed in approval of his own work. Just as Roger went to place the noodles in the bowl, he realized he messed up.

“Bloody hell,” Roger shouted, tossing the pot in the sink. “The fucking noodles are overcooked. Mush. Absolute mush.”

Roger tried to calm himself down, not wanting to upset the baby. He really can’t believe he messed up boiling noodles. It has to be the hormones that are making him cry cos there’s no way a 32 year old man is crying over noodles.

“I tried to tell you the noodles cook fast,” John groaned. “It’s not- Wait Roger, are you crying?”

Before Roger could even choke out a response, he felt his favorite pair of arms wrapped around him. John’s scent and soft hair touching his face instantly calmed him down. The tears didn’t stop but he no longer wanted to throw the pot through a window. 

“It’s just noodles, Rog. We have more Ramen in and you can just make them again,” John cooed as he kissed Roger’s cheek.

Roger released himself from John’s arms and leaned against the counter. “It’s not the noodles, John. I’m about to be a parent and I can’t boil noodles without screwing it up? How am I gonna feed the baby? What if I mess up feeding them?”

John wiped the tears off him face. “Well luckily for us,” John said. “It’s really hard to screw up chest milk or formula. Babies don’t eat noodles.”

Roger choked out a laugh through his tears. It’s silly, he knows he’s being silly. It’s something that rests heavy on his mind every time he sees John whip up a delicious dinner for them with odds and ends ingredients. He wants this baby to have two parents who can cook. This baby deserves two parents who can cook.

“I know. I know,” Roger smiled. He placed a hand on his bump as his baby kicked him. “It’s still lunch time. What would you like and please no noodles.”

“I’ll take some cheese on toast,” John said, his hand joining Roger’s on the belly.

Roger smiled from ear to ear. “That I know I can make. Take a seat and I’ll get it started.”

While Roger’s never made cheese of toast before, he’s been watching John make it for ten years now. He quickly made them each two cheese on toast and set them down on the table. He was too excited to watch John eat and forgot about his own food for a moment. 

“This is a perfect, Rog. Perfect cheese on toast,” John said with a mouthful. “Looks like we can cross this one off the list.”

It doesn’t matter if John is lying or if this is the worlds most simple recipe, Roger’s proud of himself. And if his toddler lives off of cheese on toast, so be it. A fed baby is a happy baby.

-

“Wake up, Rog,” John whispered in his ear.

Roger rolled over and was greet by John fully dressed. “I’m only leaving this house when it’s time to go to hospital.”

John shook Roger, effectively waking him up from his nap. “We’re going camping, it was on your list ‘finally go camping’. It’s too cold and you’re too pregnant to go real camping so indoor camping will do.”

Roger, with John’s help, got up and out of bed. He waddled on down to the guest room and opened to door to see John’s makeshift campsite. A blanket tent was made up in front of the bed with a candle campfire. John had fairy lights hanging above the site to mimic stars. It was beautiful and probably more than he deserved.  
  
The evening was lovely. John really acted as if they were camping. Insisting that Roger get the full experience. John made Roger sing campfire songs and they roasted marshmallows over the candle. John insisted they try to make s’mores, which ended up being a sticky disaster. They swapped made up ghost stories and other urban legend stories. The only time he broke the scene was when it was time for bed, he wasn’t going to have his heavily pregnant boyfriend sleep on the ground. Roger insisted that if he’s going to go camping he’s doing it right and sleep on the ground.

The two laid on their backs and stared at the fake stars. Roger’s eyes kept falling to John. He never knew if he wanted kids but when he fell pregnant he knew he wanted the baby. He couldn’t ask for a better father to his baby. John is kind, smart, funny, and an overall incredible human. He couldn't imagine doing this with any other person. John has kept him grounded and has been his rock not only during this pregnancy but their entire friendship.

This baby has the greatest daddy.

“What are you thinking about,” John asked.

Roger let out a sigh. “I want to go camping with our baby. I know they’ll travel the world with us on tour but that’s not the same. I want this baby go camping and have shitty cottage holidays.”

“Me too,” John smiled. “Now that we crossed this item off, how about one more tonight?”

“I’m too tired for a new and crazy sex position,” Roger laughed. 

Roger had wild ideas with that one this time last year. The thought of bending his body in some of those positions makes him out of breath. He tried to ride John a few weeks ago and thought he was having a heart attack.

“I was thinking we could do ‘do something I’ve been putting off’,” John said rolling over to face Roger. “Cos I know you didn’t want to know the gender but I hate us not having a name. Saying the baby or our baby is driving me nuts.”

“What names do you like?” Roger asked curiously. 

A name is a big deal and Roger doesn’t want to this his baby a dud name. He hasn’t even thought of name ideas yet. He was hoping he’d meet his baby and a name would come to him.

“I have a boys name I like,” John blushed. “What if you pick out a girls name and whatever the baby comes out as, we use one of these two names?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Roger smiled. “Give me minute.”

Roger didn’t want to think of a too far off name but something not so common that there’s a dime a dozen of them. He didn’t want to overthink it but not think too much into it. He mentally shook his head and decided to go with the first name that came to mind.

“Okay,” Roger said firmly. “You go first.”

“I like Charles.”

“Charles is sweet,” Roger smiled. “I like Charlotte. What if we call the baby Charlie as nickname since it suits both of those names.”

“Charlie,” John cooed to Roger’s belly. “Our Charlie.”

Roger’s heart fluttered at John calling the baby Charlie and Charlie lightly kicked Roger’s bladder so he thinks Charli also approves of their name. 

-

Roger spent the last few weeks being impatient and now he has been panic packing hospital bags for a few hours. He’s not in labor, just a nervous wreck. Something about him hitting 40 weeks today made him feel far from ready to be a parent. He wonders if he could keep Charlie inside him for another month. 

“If I were a baby,” Roger said to a his belly. “I would simply stay inside as long as I could. So maybe you should do the same.”

The blond couldn’t tell if his was a nervous stomach giving him gas or a faint contraction but something nearly knocked him off his feet. He didn’t have much time to think about it before John came running into the nursery.

“Rog,” John panted. “We have less than 12 hours to finish and I have one ready for you in the living room.”

“I am too gassy for a crazy new sex position,” Roger sighed. “And we aren’t going to make it to New York for the ball drop tonight. We don’t even have plane tickets.”

“I know, follow me,” John said extending his hand out.

Down in the living room, John had set up a New Year party for the two of them. Stacking books and wrapping fairy lights around them to mimic sky scrapers. John made his own ball drop that sat on top of the telly. He set up snacks and sparkling non-alcoholic wine. It was better than New York. 

“Deaky,” Roger said, his voice cracking.

“I dont’ think we’ll be able to stay up until 5 in the morning to watch the official New York ball drop so we’ll celebrate at midnight still.”

“I love everything about this,” Roger said. “I love you.” 

Roger let himself be led by John to set up. They dressed up in cheesy New Years hats and necklaces. Roger sipped on his sparkling wine and indulged in all the snacks and sweets. He insisted that John treat himself to a few beers and the younger man didn’t put up much of fight. 

An hour until midnight and Roger was the most calm he’s been in nine months. John was a few beers and bordering on tipsy and drunk going on about some song he wants to put on the album.

“I know I probably stressed you with the constant fighting with Brian,” John said softly. “I just am so passionate about this album and who knows the next time we’ll record one after the baby. I just want to give this my all.”

“I love seeing you so passionate about the album and the baby,” Roger admitted. “Even though the fighting is driving me mad, in a weird sense it keeps me sane. You’re so secure about everything. I can’t sleep wondering if I’m gonna know when to feed Charlie or change their diaper. I’m not even sure if I am going to be a half decent dad. But I know you are so that makes me feel like I can do this if you can.”

Roger let John cup his face. “I’m terrified,” John admitted. “I smoked the week leading up to Christmas. I didn’t tell you cos I didn’t need you anymore stressed out. I just know being a dad is going to come so naturally to you and I’m so envious. It’s embarrassing.”

Roger never even considered that John might feel this way. Neither of them were prepared and it’s okay that they’re both a little scared. Over whelmed with love and affection, Roger let one of his hands trail to John’s crotch.

“We still have that last item to cross off. How about we try to-,” Roger said trailing off.

“Try what,” John moaned with his eyes closed.

“My water broke,” Roger laughed until a sharp pain caused him to double over. “Oh fuck.”

Everything seemed to happened fast. 

John panicked and yelled at himself for being drunk and not able to drive him to the hospital. The younger man panicked and gathered their belongings while Roger made arrangements to the hospital. Roger called Brian and Freddie seeing if either of them were sober.

“Brian,” Roger groaned as another contraction hit.

“Everything okay, Rog?” Brian asked.

“Just peachy,” Roger yelled. “A bowling ball is trying to come out of me and John is drunk. Can you give us lift to hospital. Can’t get a bloody cab and Crystal was my original plan but he’s three sheets to the wind.”

“Give me 10 minutes and I’ll be there,” Brian said quickly before hanging up the phone.

The lift to hospital seemed to never end. Getting to a room took forever. Labor itself seemed to never end. 

John held his hand the seven hours he spent pushing and still none of it felt real until Roger held Charlies in his arms. Sweet little Charles who has Roger’s blue eyes and John’s nose. Every fear and doubt Roger had flew out the window and seemed so silly now. 

Brian and Freddie were their first visitors. Brian actually never left the waiting room. John and Brian seemed to have put the last nine months behind them in light of the birth of Charles. Every fight over disco and guitar solos seemed so insignificant. Brian started making plans about how to make recording in Munich easier with Charles and declared no fighting with a baby present. Roger’s heart soared seeing his lover and long time best friend make up.

That first night in the hospital felt a bit surreal. Visitors have come and gone throughout the day and finally the two of them were alone with Charles.

“He’s perfect,” John cooed. “I’m so proud of you, Rog. I could never do what you did. I’m forever in debt to you for giving us him.”

Roger smiled as John kissed the top of his head. “You definitely owe me,” Roger laughed. “I can’t wait to bring him to Munich, he’s gonna bring a fun atmosphere to the recording studio.”

“I want to bring him to Paris,” John added kissing his two boys.

“Add that to this list,” Roger said. John raised an eyebrow to him. “Our new resolution list. I want him to see at least five countries this year. And I want him to learned how to walk before he’s one. I want us to have a new years resolution list for Charles. All the things we would like to do during his first year.”

“I love that idea. It’s perfect for our New Years baby,” John grinned. “Let’s not put this list off until the last week of the year this time.”

“I cannot promise that,” Roger said cheekily. “But I know that you’ll figure out for us either way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you like and if there are any awful grammatical errors.
> 
> I appreciate you all for reading and thanks in advance to any kudos and comments you leave.
> 
> Love you all. :')


End file.
